Why You’re NOT Going to Get "There"

As a keynote speaker, I hear it all the time. People are fixated on getting "there"—achieving that goal, securing the promotion, hitting a major milestone, or finally going on that dream vacation. It's a common theme at every conference keynote and leadership talk, and it’s often presented as the ultimate driver of happiness.

We set goals like:

• Achieving career milestones
• Building the ideal physique
• Reaching financial freedom
• Going on that dream vacation
• Reaching that seven-figure bank balance

But I think most people are missing the point. Sure, those milestones can be exciting, but in the end, they’re rarely as fulfilling as we imagine.

For years, I fell into the same trap. I thought, “Once I make six figures, then I’ll feel accomplished.” Or, “Once I lose the weight, then I’ll be confident.” Or, “Once I move to a new city, I’ll have a great social circle.”

But the truth is, when we reach those goals, they’re often not what we thought. As a leadership speaker, I’ve come to realize—and share with my audiences—that we’re not really chasing the things themselves. Instead, we’re after the feelings we think these things will give us.

The Real Goal: A Feeling, Not a Destination

We aren’t actually chasing the dream car; we’re chasing the feeling of freedom, success, or status we believe it will bring. We’re not focused on the bank balance itself, but on the sense of security it promises. And once we hit that goal? We’re usually on to the next one, because that initial thrill wears off quickly.

Here’s a reality check: if you’re reading this, you’ve likely already achieved many of the things you once thought would make you happy. And yet, here you are, still searching.

The Power of Pursuit

From my perspective as a conference keynote speaker, I believe it’s not the end goal that gives us the satisfaction we seek. It’s the pursuit itself that brings purpose and fulfillment. When we’re actively pursuing growth, we feel alive. We’re invigorated by progress, and we’re driven by the challenge.

Progress builds confidence, and confidence, in turn, propels us forward. It’s the pursuit that shapes us and gives us meaning, not the finish line itself.

Why Growth is the Real Game

Growth is the game. When we focus less on reaching a specific endpoint and more on the process, we experience fulfillment in real time, rather than putting it off to a far-off moment. I’ve seen time and again, as both a leadership speaker and in personal experience, that the process itself is what truly delivers.

When we embrace this mindset, we realize that we don’t have to wait for "someday" to feel happy or fulfilled. Every step, every bit of progress, becomes a win worth celebrating. This is the message I bring to my audiences when I deliver a leadership keynote: our greatest victories come from growing and learning along the journey.

Enjoying the Process

If you decide to focus on the pursuit, on becoming a little better each day, you’ll find that you’re already "there" in a sense. The process of becoming is what life is all about. By enjoying the pursuit of your goals, rather than placing all your happiness in achieving them, you’ll find that your goals will come to life in ways you couldn’t have imagined.

So here’s the takeaway I offer at every keynote speaking engagement: less focus on goals, more focus on process. Growth is the true game, and when you play it, you can feel fulfilled every step of the way.

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